Do any of you suffer from anxiety? I tend to spend most of my days dealing with pretty severe anxiety. I worry about everything and overanalyze the simplest things. I had a pretty bad anxiety attack this evening. I don't want to go into details because it makes me nauseous thinking about it. But I basically got into an argument with my boyfriend. This happens every few months it feels. We'll be doing really well and then we have one bad day and I blow everything out of proportion and make things 10x worse. Not to mention I'd already argues with my mom earlier in the day so I was already feeling pretty shit. Unfortunately when I got the attack I wasn't at home so I had to rush into a restroom where I sat on the floor and sobbed. I felt like I was suffocating and ended up throwing up. That was a few hours ago and since then he and I have made up. It wasn't even a big deal but I can't handle confrontation at all. I can't deal with anyone criticizing me because I was never really disciplined as a child and I take everything as a personal attack against me. I really need to fucking grow up.
I feel a lot better right now, still a little shaky but I'm okay.
How do you deal with anxiety? I haven't found any consistently successful way of dealing with it and I hate when it escalates into an attack like today. It makes me feel so pathetic.
Sunday, February 3, 2013
Saturday, February 2, 2013
Hello everybody! I feel bad about not having posted this week. Thanks for all the comments on my last post, though! They were very helpful for me to read.
Well, you guys were right. Given time, my problems figured themselves out for the most part. I guess I was a little vague when I talked about how I neglected my friend. Basically we were supposed to hang out last weekend but I had other things going on and sort of left her hanging. It was stupid of me really, considering she's one of my closest (and only) friends. Well we didn't speak much in the beginning of the week and I suspect she was annoyed at me, rightly so. I called her in the middle of the week and we talked about it and I apologized. I still haven't seen her, but we're planning on having dinner next weekend. I guess things are mostly patched up, but we'll see when we actually hang out.
Things with my dad have gotten a bit better also. He never really explained why he was angry at me or why he gave me the silent treatment. But I suppose we're similar in that way. Neither of us can handle confrontation so we just sort of let our problems sit there and stew. Eventually they simmer down and aren't exactly forgotten, but put on the backburner. Like my use of analogy? Things are okay between us right now. They're never really outstanding though, so I'm not expecting much.
Other than that, everything else is more or less the same. I finally saw Django tonight with an old friend who just returned from a 2 month stay in India. We went out to eat before and I ordered a club sandwich. I removed the bread and the bacon and some of the turkey. I ate two pieces and gave her my fries. She's used to my eating habits, though, so she didn't say anything. Which I appreciate.
So that about sums up my week. I hope to continue posting more frequently this week. I love reading all your blogs and I'm trying to make an effort to comment on them more. But rest assured I do read them all the time! You all seem like such lovely girls :)
Well, you guys were right. Given time, my problems figured themselves out for the most part. I guess I was a little vague when I talked about how I neglected my friend. Basically we were supposed to hang out last weekend but I had other things going on and sort of left her hanging. It was stupid of me really, considering she's one of my closest (and only) friends. Well we didn't speak much in the beginning of the week and I suspect she was annoyed at me, rightly so. I called her in the middle of the week and we talked about it and I apologized. I still haven't seen her, but we're planning on having dinner next weekend. I guess things are mostly patched up, but we'll see when we actually hang out.
Things with my dad have gotten a bit better also. He never really explained why he was angry at me or why he gave me the silent treatment. But I suppose we're similar in that way. Neither of us can handle confrontation so we just sort of let our problems sit there and stew. Eventually they simmer down and aren't exactly forgotten, but put on the backburner. Like my use of analogy? Things are okay between us right now. They're never really outstanding though, so I'm not expecting much.
Other than that, everything else is more or less the same. I finally saw Django tonight with an old friend who just returned from a 2 month stay in India. We went out to eat before and I ordered a club sandwich. I removed the bread and the bacon and some of the turkey. I ate two pieces and gave her my fries. She's used to my eating habits, though, so she didn't say anything. Which I appreciate.
So that about sums up my week. I hope to continue posting more frequently this week. I love reading all your blogs and I'm trying to make an effort to comment on them more. But rest assured I do read them all the time! You all seem like such lovely girls :)
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