Well, he finally texted me. Asked me to sleep over tomorrow and of course I fed him about 10 excuses at once, most of them actually legitimate. The worst part is, HE WAS OKAY WITH IT. God, a really big part of me wanted him to snap and argue and yell and point out everything I do wrong, lord knows he's had no problem doing that in the past. But no, he was okay with it and offered to come visit me for a change. I doubt he'll try, and if he does I'll pull another excuse out of my magic top hat. Why can't I just be upfront with him? Instead, I try to manipulate him into breaking up with me because that would be SO MUCH EASIER. Honestly, I wouldn't mind! But it's not going to happen, at least not in the time frame I want it to. So I have to push his buttons enough that he's not so happy with me and can see that we have issues and when I bring them up he'll maybe be a bit more rational? And not take it so hard? God, why am I such a baby about these things? Why am I so immature? Why do I sit here and ask myself questions I ALREADY KNOW THE ANSWER TO? I am pathetic. I am a fat sack of vomit and hair and lies and disgusting, snivelling, deplorable qualities.
So now I'm in bed eating leftover fried lasagna from earlier and it tastes really, really good. No way am I weighing myself tonight.
No comments:
Post a Comment