Hello, there. Been a while.
Well, weight-wise, things have been progressing really well. I'm down to 115 and feeling better. Sticking to about a meal a day and calorie-free drinks only. That app I mentioned has actually really helped me with my binges. I've only had one since I downloaded it. I guess it has a lot to do with shame which probably isn't healthy either, but whatever.
In other aspects of my life, things are slowly falling apart. J has been offered two jobs and now the pressure's on me to get my ass into gear. He wants to get an apartment together within a year but I need to find work and I really need to get my license. It'd make things so much easier. I sort of neglected a close friend this weekend and we haven't talked much since then. I feel like she's the closest girl friend I have and now I'm distancing myself from her. I hate how I do that. My dad hasn't spoken to me all day for whatever reason and my poor mother is trying so hard to be a medium between us. But nothing will work. It seems the only thing I can control these days is my weight. That's why I absolutely HAVE to reach my goal weight. It'll be such an accomplishment. I haven't accomplished anything in so long. I feel like such a waste of space sometimes.
But if I'm skinny I won't waste so much of it. I'll just take up a little sliver of this universe.
How did you neglect her?
ReplyDeleteIf you're really close, I bet it will be easy to make up with her. You might not even need to apologize, you can just plan out a day devoted to spending time with her, and she'll forgive you.
Why have you distanced from her sweetie, I am sure if she is a good friend if your honest with her she will understand xx
ReplyDeleteSometimes, it really is just better to let things with family resolve themselves. Parents are often stubborn to try and admit that they may not know best in certain situations. So sorting your own self out is the only thing you can really control and put conscious effort into productively, so maybe concentrate on that. Its important to work on friendships, because sometimes we do need that support, but at the same time, we also grow past people as we get older. friendships end and new ones begin. Cycle in life really :)
ReplyDeleteXo
True friendship will survive x
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